Letter To My Sleeping Lover

The sun is peaking through the tiny opening in the dark curtain.  I'm pulled from my sleep by the urge to be close to you.  I feel your warmth, but this morning it's not from your arms around me.  I'm never awake before you it seems and so many times I wake with you staring into my eyes when I open them.  The look on your face is a look of wonder, and when I open my eyes to your waiting gaze, a smile slowly forms on your lips, goes up your cheeks and straight to your steely blue  eyes.  The warmth I feel from your smile is just as intense as the warmth I feel from your arms around me.  I will never grow tired of your smile.  This morning, I want to be YOUR waking smile.

I know you're asleep, I can feel it in my heart.  I just wish we weren't apart.  Closing my eyes I face your side of our bed and I imagine you hugging your pillow, something you do when you aren't wrapped around me.  Your face is relaxed in sleep and I swear there already is a tiny smile on your face.  I move towards you and snuggle close.  Ahhh, that's better.  Already I feel more complete.  God it's so hard not to reach out to touch you.  I can't control myself no matter how hard I try though.  You know this about me and I think that you love my inability to refrain from touching you.  I reach out to touch the side of your face, and then kiss your shoulder, but still you sleep.

I wait, and I watch my lover, seeing the tiny rise and fall of your shoulders, listening to your smooth even breathing.  I reach out to touch you again, this time running my finger from your forehead to the tip of your nose, then tracing your lips. When I pull back I see you start to move,  yes, this is it, he's finally waking up, but still you sleep.  So, I wait, and I watch, and when your hand reaches for mine in your sleep, I lace my fingers with yours and start drifting back towards a dreamland with you. 

I'm not sure how long I sleep, but this time when I wake I feel heat.  A good heat, that I completely adore because I know it's coming from your touch.  I feel you moving my hair off the side of my face and sweeping it behind my back.  It's the soft touch of your finger tips on the side of my neck that wake me from sleep.  This is real!  I open my eyes, and right there waiting for me is that steely blue gaze filled with warmth and desire.  "You've come home," I whisper and then you kiss my nose, and whisper back, "how could I not?"

Lola Fontaine 2015