Memories are a Funny Thing

Sometimes you hear a song, or a phrase and you are instantly transported back to a time where you something important, something meaningful happened.  My very first memory was the day my little brother was born.  I was just about 4 years old when I got to hold this sleeping doll, and I asked my mother why his eyes were closed.

To this day whenever I smell fresh basil, or mint, I’m transported back to when I was a little girl helping Yaya in the garden on South Street.  Every summer when I plant my own garden of vegetables and herbs I can see her so clearly helping me to remove tomatoes off the vine.

As a mother of my own daughter I make a point to create memorable experiences with her.  Growing up we didn't have much, but we had each other, we had music and we had fun.  My mother always made everything fun.  Music filled our house back then and it fills mine today.   I can relate almost any classic rock song played on the radio to some experience with my mother doing something around the house jamming away to her music.  My mother loved to play “dance party clean up.”  She’d turn up some Creedence Clearwater Revival or something and call out “it’s time for a dance party” and she’d come into our rooms to start stripping the beds of their sheets.  Each of us whether we wanted to or not, couldn't help but join in and start to clean our rooms.  Before we knew it, our rooms were clean.  What was then a game to get us to clean our rooms and do our chores without an argument, is to this day a cherished memory.  We did what we had to do, together, laughing and listening to music.  What could be better than that?

 In 2009 I started the dance party tradition with my own little girl and she looks forward to it.  We use music to set the pace for our night time routine.  I’ll tell her, “we have time to play until the end of this song, and then we have to go brush our teeth.”  This ritual works for us and my daughter gets to enjoy her music too. 

What I remember about our house growing up was how warm it always felt.  My mother did that.  She created a space for us to feel safe and loved.  Our nights after dinner were soothing, and spent reading books.  Today my daughter rushes to get herself ready for bed so that we can have more snuggle time reading.  My girl always climbs up into my bed, gets the pillows fluffed, and is under the covers when I come into my room.  She’s ready.  She’s waiting for our special time together.  We spend this time snuggling under the covers and reading together.  She’s really become quite the little reader and she loves it.  As a reader, writer, and lover of all things books, I’m going to do everything I can to make her reading experience as enjoyable as possible.  I cherish this time with her, because I know there will be a day, sadly not far away I’m sure, where she won’t want to snuggle with her Mama.  There are many nights when we both fall asleep in my bed, heads touching and a book over us.  Some nights my husband finds us and will take her to bed.  He’s even started a little collection of photographs he’s taken of us after we've fallen asleep snuggled with books that go back to when she was a baby.  Even I haven’t seen all of the photographs, but I know that he’ll turn it into a special memory book for her someday. 

So on one particular night I wake up and I’m alone so I carry my daughter to her bed and I head back to my room.  When I pull back the covers I find my sweet girl’s ruby red slippers and an extra book that she had tucked into the bed.  Instantly, Seeing these things in my bed made me smile and reminded me of my little girl when she was 3.  That’s when she became obsessed with the Wizard of Oz and at nearly 8 it’s still her favorite.  The slippers, like many other things, will serve as a symbol for my own cherished memories.  A memory of a special ritual my daughter and I share, one that I hope she will continue with her own children someday. 

My daughter will grow up and remember our “snuggling with books” time, but what she may not remember is all the little extras I've found in my bed after she’s gone to her room. Through the years there were many things left behind and I've started a photo collection of some of them that I will put into a book for my daughter.   My goal is to give her my pictures and give her fond memories of a time that I will always treasure. Make memories, cherish them, and find a way to preserve them however you can, whether it be through words, pictures, or music. Just cherish the memories.

-Lola Fontaine 2014